f you like sappy love stories, this post is for you. If not, exit now and save yourself. I’m a day late, so yesterday was Valentine’s Day. A particularly interesting day of the year from the perspective of mine and Jake’s relationship. Jake doesn’t buy into commercialism, in a broad sense of the term, so why would he care about Valentine’s Day? And since we’ve been together for four years, why would I?
I don’t know what has gotten into us this year. I know we’re only about a month in, but 2019 has been overwhelmingly positive. We are attempting a balancing act between financial abundance (in a more traditional workplace) and giving the farm the attention it needs to grow into the vision for it that our minds have created. Our adherence to autonomy has allowed us the freedom to create our ideal work environment and schedules. How Jake had the time, desire or energy to make me a valentine this year remains unclear.
In the last few years, I, like Jake, have also gotten accustomed to thinking Valentine’s Day is “a stupid, unnecessary holiday fueled by consumer interest.” Even though I’ve been in a relationship, I’ve always seen it as an excuse to “treat myself and love myself.” I’ve found the following Kate Chopin quote to be a driving force in my quest to be a strong, wild woman: “But whatever came, she had resolved never again to belong to another than herself.” Dramatic for someone who isn’t single? Absolutely, but I digress.
In response to the shocking valentine I received (the preview version over text message, mind you) yesterday, I’ve decided to open up about the reasons that Jake and I are in a relationship and the things that I appreciate about our partnership.
I am thankful that Jake is skeptical, well-read, polite, curious, bold and understanding. He has taught me to question societal norms and the expectations of others. He has shown me how to be more cautious about how I speak to others, how to be a better listener, how to sleep on the ground, ride on the back of a motorcycle and how to create a fire from a bow drill set. He holds the rope attached to my climbing harness and snaps by bindings in when I’m crying because “I hate snowboarding and I’ll never try it again.” He encouraged me to try my first yoga class, which I initially protested and still practice today. He makes me necklaces from my favorite elements, built us a camper van, taught me how to fish and writes me poetry when we’re apart. Jake was patient when I spent August, 2016 in the same tent as him in restless delirium because I was afraid of mountain lions and bears. He’s seen me whip things across the room in anger, cry for hours, make excuses and threaten to leave and move abroad (again). And when I throw these fits, he’ll book a random trip somewhere with me.
While there are plenty of things that I have contributed to this relationship, I don’t feel that this is the space for them. I could also focus on the chaos that exists among us, but that isn’t necessary now either. In this moment, I want to thank Jake to what he has contributed to something greater than him and I individually, which is us. Happy Valentine’s Day if you’re into that.